Many young men have had girlfriends. All too often, driven by self-centered and goal-oriented motives—often with the goal of physical intimacy—they go through the motions of caring just long enough to achieve that end. Afterward, they may only contact the “girlfriend” when the desire for intimacy arises. Sometimes, this leads to a relationship, but more often, it has little foundation in love. The brief moments of intimacy cannot sustain a lasting connection, and the relationship is severed.
Many people start relationships as friends. After enjoying each other’s company, they begin dating, grow compatible, and develop a healthy relationship, eventually falling in love. The “logical” next step is often marriage. However, after some time, the honeymoon phase fades, and life’s distractions start to chip away at the marriage. Children enter the picture, the Corvette is traded for a minivan, and money once spent on travel now goes toward insurance and a mortgage. Ping, ping, ping—the small divots become craters, and the marriage begins to fade. The couple focuses more on life’s demands than on each other, and all too often, decay sets in, leading to the next “logical” step: divorce.
Yet, some couples grow closer through marriage, becoming one. Life brings challenges, but their top priority is each other. They share responsibilities when children arrive, cherish the years that pass, and remain grateful. The bills pile up, responsibilities grow, and the Corvette no longer seems important. Annual trips to Tahiti are swapped for theme park visits every other year, and that’s okay. Intimacy requires planning now, and spontaneity feels like a distant memory, but that’s fine—they have each other and embrace those moments with bliss and appreciation. Over time, they become inseparable, knowing each other’s favorite foods, pet peeves, and the simplest things that matter. This is a true relationship—where two become one.
We are created with a void inside us, a deep longing for something more. Many try to fill this hole with money, sex, or acceptance, but the emptiness persists. Some place a person in that space, yet the void remains. That hole was created by God, for God. Some sense this and reach out to Him, but only long enough for a fleeting moment of comfort before returning to their old pursuits. Is this being a Christian? Others allow God to fill the void but, over time, slowly replace Him with distractions until they wonder where He went. Is this being a Christian? Some, however, let God fill that hole and are consumed by His presence. They nurture their relationship with Him, prioritizing God above all else, and He empowers them to overcome distractions and thrive. Is this being a Christian?
Let me cut to the chase and ask you directly: Do you have a relationship with Christ? I’m not saying you can’t be a Christian if you’ve only heard a message once, said a prayer, and then struggled through life, pulling God out of your pocket only when needed. I’m not saying you can’t be a Christian if you cling to distractions or sins that weigh you down—whether you struggle with drug addiction, lying, cheating, homosexuality, self-centeredness, murder, alcoholism, abuse, pornography, or any other sin. No human, including me, can declare whether someone is or isn’t a Christian. That’s for you to examine within yourself. Ask: Can you have a relationship with someone you never talk to? Do you pray regularly? Can you build a relationship with someone you don’t know? Do you read the Bible? Can a relationship last if you always put that person last? Is God more important to you than any person, possession, or pursuit? Are you a Christian?
The Bible is our guide. All of life’s trials, ups, and downs can be a journey filled with joy and purpose. Even the hardships have a silver lining when God is at the helm, and your trust and faith are in Him. It’s not usually an overnight process but a lifelong journey of building faith, growing in the Lord, and learning who He is through scripture, prayer, and the Holy Spirit’s guidance, connecting you to God.